--- fALsE^hOpeS ---

My FiRsT Date wiTh "X"

2007-12-24T09:15:00.000-08:00

I was so happy…because I succeeded in asking her out on 22 Dec 2007 >>

We went for a movie at VivoCity, went to Marche to eat dinner cum supper. Felt really happy having her by my side. Saw her home after that – only to hear that she got scolded for returning home late after I left – poor thing. I shall improve myself ~ since you have feedback that I am not caring enough towards you ~ And I promise you I will improve all my flaws - being more confident, talk better, and being more straightforward. Although I really worry a lot about not being able to live up to your expectations, I shall nevertheless work hard on it !! ~

Yes, it has only been a few days but …

I miss her VERY VERY much. She was always the one to initiate conversations with me online. After a long time of careful selection, I decided to get her a bag for Christmas. Hope that she would love it. Although I do not know if I should give this one last chance, having tried is better than not trying, therefore I shall embrace the arms of L-O-V-E for one last time. I will give all that I have, and pray for the best. If there is going to be an end to it, its all over for me. That’s it then for my love life – I shall brand myself a Failure in that. I will live life for myself, never for anyone else again. If things do not work out good, I shall and will stay single for life >>

~ Thanks my dear colleagues for lovely Christmas gifts ~

I am going to need all the support I can find. Love, Career, Studies, my future, is all uncertain for now. Although everyone tells me that I can make it, can I really create miracles? I have never been successful in relationships, my job now has little prospect, my studies are not excellent either, my future is blurry now ~

Gonna have to face all these with more confidence and support. I shall work even harder from now on, in hope of being with you in future.

I resolve to be a more talkative person, to be able to talk and joke well, to be able to understand your needs well, and also to be what you expect. I know even though you do not spell things out, I know very well that you expect a lot from me. I have started working on those, and I will get there. Now I only hope that by that time, you will continue to give me a chance throughout this time. I swear the next date for me and you will be a better one, and I will only bring you to places that I know well >>

Lastly to end this post, since I can’t tell you this in person, I shall pour it out here >>

“ ~ I LOVE YOU ~ ”

~Nicknick's WeARY JoUrNeY~ "X"

2007-12-17T07:32:00.001-08:00

Hi all dear readers out there Nicknick is finally back!! =D

Everything’s over!! =)

Okay okay…not quite. Last battle to beat would be Boon Lay CC’s Concert – sorrie I should say variety show – on the 30 Dec 2007, Esplanade Concert Hall– featuring Joi Chua!! Woo hooo >> She’s young, pretty, talented and has a great voice. Looking forward to see her live in concert!!

Hectic life for this December 2007. Haiz, Felt like I let myself down by not achieving much during this year. Bottoms up to me passing Grade 9!!! Yeah yeah….feel so lucky to have scraped through it!! Diploma and Grade 10’s on the way!!~

Let’s see how many courses I have fulfilled this year - 3 + 10 + 3 + 5 +10 = 31 Credit Units - that means about 90 more credit units to go!! What the heck..still a long way. 2008 is coming pretty soon. What is in stall for me >> ?

Started preparing for Pipa Diploma and financial planning. Been busy planning for a proposal of a Youth Group near my place. I’m going to need lots of support as I will be doing most of the things alone. Dear CO lovers and friends out there, lend me your encouragement and support! I’ll be hang in there!~

I met her - and got to know her better. I shall refer to her as “X” for now. Like me, she’s a libran, plays zhongruan, and is same age as my brother. A mysterious air constantly surrounds her as she roams the streets, with those rather cold but focused eyes. No doubt that she is special in her own way, having her own rationale and expectations out of life. To chat with her felt really great >> Well, she’s capable, smart, intelligent, sophisticated, elegant, cute, pretty……well oh my god what else can I say. She’s got it almost all. Having just completed her JC2, she’ll be blossoming into a young adult soon in a year’s time. Currently working now in a tough grueling environment, and will be furthering her studies in university next year. I understand – working is never easy, furthermore yours is a big established company and you are in a job that is more frontline demanding – I know it has been very tough on you >> do hang in there okay? I know it’s not easy - feel free let me know should you need a listening ear – I shall be more than glad to offer help. Just hope to be able to chat more with you, shan’t ask for much >> It feels great to be able to share my experiences with you, and I hope to be able to learn from your experiences too, and I really hope to be able to know you better. All I‘d ask for is just to be able to see you, pray that you’d be safe and sound anywhere, and that you are fine at your job with everything going smoothly, and wishing that you will stay happy and lead a fun and fulfilling life. May the force be with you! ~ What more can I ask for, besides your happiness and safety in everything you do ~ I don’t think I am asking for too much, aren’t I?

Listening to Corrine’s May’s “Fly Away” as I blog through this post ~ while constantly telling myself not to think too much

~ThE^mAteRiALiStiC^wOrLd~

2006-04-17T08:04:00.000-07:00

People come,
People go,
People lie,
People cry,
People just don't give a shit.

Its amazing how humans have come to reach the stage of being unfeeling and selfish. Their narrow-mindedness and irresponsibility has clearly took on an impressive turn for the worst.

The good get bullied,
The unfeeling succeed,
The hardworking get all the shit,
The bad get away scot-free,
The common folk suffer,
The proud gets all the credit,
The Liars get what they want,
The shy get outcasted,
The weak get despised and condemned.

People are just simply blinded to looking at things on the surface, without even giving a damn thought about what is going on behind the scenes.

They jump to their own conclusions and think that they are always correct.

The younger generation:
They know things that they do not really have to know, and the best part is they do not knoe things they are supposed to know!!

People have just simply given up the good side of human nature, and have taken up the ugly side to be kept with them.

Not to forget the many people out there simply LOVE to preach about how right they are and think they know everything, when very often its just that they are too immersed in their own world to open themselves up to others. And here comes the best climax of this:

They SIMPLY cannot do what they preach!!!
And they have the nerve to lecture others on what the "dos" and "don'ts" are!!!

Amazing isn't it!!

Nowadays people just keep focusing on the wrong things, or likely, they focus on things they do not really need, just to make things convenient for themselves more. They are just ending up getting more and more pampered.

Society has since drawn a clear line between the upper class and the lower class of people.

Superficiality has embarked on its quest on conquering human nature.

tImE~sCaRs~rEmnIsCeS

2005-10-12T08:54:00.000-07:00

-SiLeNt mArkS-

That I have lost my courage to say to you
That I can only pour out in here
That I will not let you see
That I will never let you know
That I know you will not care
That I know you will not bother
That I still LOVE you deeply.

I know I will never have a place in your heart

[I still LOVE you DEEPLY]
I will never have the chance to say it to you
I will say it here
I know you will not bother

To my friends who have been by my side~~

I'm sorry~I will need more time~I'm sorry

FeeLeRs~WaNdeRers~NostalGic MomeNtS

2005-09-21T23:06:00.000-07:00

Yes

I've got to meet one of my favourite pipa players finally at the masterclass conducted by Yang Wei himself. Really fantastic, his skills.

Haiz...Din get to take photo with him...aaaarrrgggghhh...hope to get my own digicam soon.

Many of my friends were there. Finally I got to see syco players in action again. They were fantastic I tell you. Budding champions & professionals in time to come. I have to say they benefitted the most from the masterclass as they received guidance from Yang Wei.

Wahh....SO envious!! =)

Thanks for the lovely treat at Singapore Yacht Club yesterday at that classy restaurant. Most haf cost quite a bomb there. Glad to see ya guys too =)

My heartmost Thanks To the People who had made it come true:

- Katherine
- Jasmine
- Hwee Lee
- Wilson
- Prof Tse
- Prof Chan
- Pris

Nice food & lovely deserts & salads :P

Got a shock when we arrived there. I was expecting to eat at Fong Seng Stalls down Kent Ridge Terminal. Pris & I were in for a surprise. I never knew we would haf lunch at such a posh place. & it was your's truly's second attempt at eating lamb chop...

Thanks to NUS Architecture Office personnel to have made my short stay a memorable one. I have really enjoyed working with ya guys, gonna miss working with ya all!
Thanks

- Katherine (Thanks my cute benevolent leader for putting up with me. Haha)
- Yin Peng (Thanks for the thumbdrive haha..couldn't have done things without it)
- Jasmine (Thanks for filling the atmosphere with laughter)
- Lay Fong (Thanks for the pizza treat giving me advice on jobs hunting)
- Hwee Lee (Thanks for your wonderful laptop, it has been a great help!)
- Prof Tse (Thanks for the nice treat at Yacht Club)
- Prof Chan (Thanks for the nice treat at Yacht Club)
- Suk Hong (Thanks for the marshmallow size bun & helping with my HR form)
- Margaret (Thanks for the polo tees & job offers)
- Pris (Thanks for introducing the job)

& also the rest of the gang ( Ya know who ya are! =))

Will Email & contact ya all when I am free.
& to Pris : Don't cry on the last day worz. Hahaha.

Once again the lone wanderer goes in search of work. Went to Seacare Building with Pris to register for new jobs yesterday. Hope to get job again soon. Now rotting at home & doing pipa stuff. Stress!!!!

Now going back to a low profile.

~Guess~I~Need~More~Time~Haiz~
^Thanks to my friends who have been helping me through this period^

----!=\ LoSt^^FrAgMeNtz /=!----

2005-08-04T10:48:00.000-07:00

Hope can find a job & start earning $$ soon. Relying on this to help me through this tough period. Thanks alots to my brothers & buddies from lion dance who have given me much support. Being with ya all helps me to ease my heart...

Thanks to my lute

Thanks for all the music ya have accompanied me with, & standing by me throughout my tough times, may my heart reside in your music & find peace & tranquility.

*~~I am still unable to get over you~~*

~TrUe LiEs~

2005-07-21T02:30:00.000-07:00

<-TiMe's Scars->

I put in so much

Ya promised dat you would do things together with me
But ya chose to run away

Ya promised me you would love me wholeheartedly
But ya chose to run away

Ya promised me we would fulfill our dreams together
But ya chose to run away

My tears fall like rain
My heart weeps softly as I think about the times we had
My feelings & emotions, torn badly apart
My thoughts dwelve deeper than the depths of the ocean
My anguish & pain indescribable by words
My existence never made a difference

~Do I deserve this~

Love You Dearly
Cross my heart

You NEVER loved me
You led me on
You made empty promises
You gave me false hopes
You never accepted me for what I am
You never cared about my feelings

~I am just another ordinary person in your life, wandering in & out.
~I am not even in the list of people ya cherish
~I do not mean anything to you
~I never occupied a place in your heart

Behind my laughter & smiles, the remains surface~~
Spread to the depths of darkness
~~In sorrow, never to rise~~

^^Your smile is everything it means to me
^^Your happiness is all that I wish for
^^Your freedom I'll do anything to give
^^Your safety is all I hope for

Never will I forget the times we had, & the laughter we shared
How I wish ya knew
How I wish ya understood
But ya never cared

~To all my dear friends~

Ya guys have been very encouraging, giving me alot of advice & cheering me on
From the bottom of my heart
Wanna say a big thanks to all of you
Some of ya have warned me
I failed to heed your advice.
I am now paying the price for it
I know I have to face it every weekend
Its gonna be a tough ride for me...

Haiz..Whatever it is, I know ya guys meant well for me. Thanks all of you, ya are the best.

(*^^*wHeN wIlL tHe cYcLE End~eVeRYtHiN's JuZ GeTtiN wOrSe & wOrSE*^^*)

/\|= dReAmZ tHaT NeVer CaMe tRuE =|/
P.S :
*ALL THE BEST TO YOUR O'LEVELS*